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My youngest daughter and grandson…most precious gifts!

February 21, 2012

My youngest daughter and grandson...most precious gifts!

My studies through recent years included some that have chosen to look at ADHD as perhaps a natural part of evolution. Maybe times are going to require that our kids are able to do more in a single second than we have ever been called to do. My gorgeous 16 year old daughter, with brains to match…can watch tv, sing a song, talk on the phone, google one subject and still pump out an essay on another…and one to impress. Me…I’d take all day on the 1 essay and need complete silence to accomplish it. I could drug her so she’d ‘learn to focus’, the question is why? She is in honors courses, makes almost all A’s and taking college classes as well as holding a 20 hour a week job. Are you impressed? I know I am, on a daily basis… Lately my time and studies have turned to autism. With Connor’s diagnosis as ‘autistic,’ I have begun to wonder if I need to view this with a similar twist. They say it’s growing, more children diagnosed every day than ever before. Like ADHD, we search for a cure daily…maybe it’s not a cure we need. Maybe it’s just a different make up of a brilliant mind. We just haven’t figured out their language. I don’t know a lot about computers but I do know they have a language that makes no sense to me…A computer programming language used to write computer programs, which involve a computer performing some kind of computation or algorithm…that probably makes as much sense to you as it does to me. There are those that LOVE this knowledge and learn everything about programming…and create amazing things! Perhaps autism is just another language, one that if we stop trying to fix and start watching, studying and learning from…can teach us something shocking…I have spent the last few months killing myself to get information ‘we’ require of a 4 year old into Connor. I started feeling like I was the ‘bitch from hell,’ excuse my wording. He would look at the work as I pulled it out and immediately withdrawl from me. Now I have a new method, the new method is HE is right and I am wrong. I need him to teach me what he wants me to know. I put out a few things at a time that are ‘typical’ to play with. I allow him to settle down to the one that excites him the most. I say nothing, just get down beside him and smile, letting him know I am here with him. So far he’s taught me how to fly a plane around the room. He’s placed his hands on mine and made me rub his back, his foot, his legs…he’s taught me how to make pretend sipping noises from a cup, pretend noises from play food…how to hold a baby properly. Recently he taught me that 2 straws can become a sword, instantly becoming a pirate. He taught me that when you are really mad throwing rice is fun…and afterward scoops up into a pile that he can write letters in. He hates art with a passion. On Valentines I wanted him to make a card for his parents…so I tried a few times to pull his interest to some wiggly eyes and a funny heart shaped Valentine, some glue and glitter…he wanted nothing to do with it. He finally convinced me he wanted tv…with a statement, “tv, please…super reader to the rescue.” I put it on, leaving the valentines mess on his mini table. He never looked at it but suddenly sat in front of it and placed my hands on the objects he wanted. I made a heart and he saw it, he then took the extra wiggly eyes, and casually placed them on his heart shape . He took the marker and scribbled inside as if to say, ‘I love you.’ He used the glue, smoothed some objects over it…I have to tell you he did all of this while NEVER looking at the object itself. He felt it with his fingers, knew where to place things w/o using his eyes. So now I am wondering, are we assuming they are not a part of our world…or is possible we are so busily forcing our world on these kids, we are refusing to enter theirs? I’m not suggesting that we not parent. He must ask for things with manners. He must not hit, bite or be mean when angry. I am suggesting that we offer our love and the chance for them to learn in their way…by watching what they touch, how they touch it…Connor has an amazing mind. He is the most loving child, always saying, “I love you.” Frequently offering us hugs and kisses…yes, something about him is not ‘typical.’ He can’t talk the way other 4 year olds do. He does laugh like they do, he does love like they do…and he can tell you every letter in the alphabet by site and often by sound. He knows a ton of animals by site and their sounds…and every once in a while he tries to crack a joke. I admit I’m confused right now, still reading and studying every article I come across. I am protective to the point of extreme…and maybe that is all this blog is…but once upon a time a school principal told me to allow my teen daughter to listen to music while doing her homework…or even talk on the phone…I thought she was crazy but backed off to give it a try. I have an amazing daughter, doing amazing things FAR above what I could do. So I have to wonder, is it time to take a new look at autism…could it be evolutionary, and WE need to fix US…and enter their world?

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From → A Day In Life...

2 Comments
  1. Holy Moly!! What a wonderful post!!! Had me in tears at the way you are seeing things. You are spot on! We have to learn to work within their world in order to help them live in ours. We all have a set way of doing things and these kids really challenge those ideas and ways, but it is really cool when you can see their world… the way THEY see it.

    It is an honor to be a friend of yours.

    PS… you have a gorgeous family!!

    Hugs,
    Kari

    • Thanks Kari, I used to know what love is…lately it’s been redefined and is so much greater than I ever believed. Blessed and praying for more of an open mind, an open heart and always more understanding.

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